i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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