Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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