I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
