I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
