oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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