Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
