Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
