The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
