Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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