girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
