her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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