Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
