i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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