Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I believe in your delicious
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
