I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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