In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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