Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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