Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
