It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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