I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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