I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Randomize
