She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
