I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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