Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He felt like a one man threesome
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
