Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
