I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
wrigley field is MILF paradise
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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