Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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