OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
