this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
