I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
