Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I AM VODKA MAN
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
