to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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