Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
