Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
