Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
