isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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