Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize