I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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