4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
