Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
True strength comes from lack of pants
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
