I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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