I should be sponsored by Trojan
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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