what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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