He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
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I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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