belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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