No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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