you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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