ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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