Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
