Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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