So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
