Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
