I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
