Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
