I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
