$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
