I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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