I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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