I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You left your phone here
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