Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
