brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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