found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
